The [True] Source

"Find the true source of happiness." 

The true source of happiness. What would that be? I'm sure the answer is different for different people. And each person probably has a different answer at different times, depending on the situation or season of the year. For example, in the summer time, an ice cream cone is sheer joy. In the spring, the cherry blossoms finally in bloom. In the fall, well anything pumpkin works for me. And in the winter, it could be a number of things from getting some sunshine, to the cozy, candle-lit evenings, to holiday cheer, to the first snow. 

Ultimately, these are just things. If they were all take away, what would that leave us with? The simple choice to just be happy. For no apparent reason. Well, tell that to my grumpy side! The simplest thing is not always the easiest. Therefore I think having a list of the things that make us happy is a good idea. We can look at it any time of day for a mood lift. Or maybe it is a photograph or a trinket that reminds you of a happy memory. 

Regardless, I think it is good to be prepared. So here is my list of happy today:

1. A hug from my husband. 

2. Head butts from my cat. 

3. Dark chocolate covered almonds with turbinado sugar and sea salt (soooooo good!!!). 

4. Internet telephone so I can call my family & friends back home for free! (Minus the yearly fee, which is minimal)

5. Pinterest

I know that last one might seem lame and some of you may not be familiar with Pinterest but let me tell you, it is a pack rat's dream come true. You can collect as many things as you want, recipes, craft ideas, wish lists, recipes, clothing ideas, etc. and it is all electronic and takes up about as much space as, well, your computer (or smart phone, or pad). Pretty awesome, right?

Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts. What is your [true] source of happiness?

New [Happy] Frontiers

For those of you new to Finding Happy, I'd like to give you a big welcome. For those of you who followed "Finding Happy in 365 Days" during my one year project in 2012, well, I am back. Why, you may ask, am I back over here, when I have a new blog (On My Bike with Scissors and a Cast Iron Skillet) now? Well, the honest truth is that I need it. I am just not feeling the same amount of happy these days. It's not that I am focusing on negative things but they keep rearing their ugly heads, forcing me to look smack dab at them. It's gross, I know. And a bit pathetic, when I consider how happy I should be and feel. I have a really nice life. I am married to a wonderful man who is the most understanding and supportive person I could have possibly been matched with in my life, I have a lovely home, no real problems to speak of. So why the dreariness?

I could reply in a deep, meaningful way and say something profound but I really feel that it would only be a half-truth. After my one year of Finding Happy, and having Happy be my focus every single day for that entire year, I really do honestly feel that the key to happiness is basically choosing happiness. But not all of us are that strong mentally. After being away from "Finding Happy" for nearly a year, I have discovered that I was happier when I was consciously focusing on Finding Happy. Having this project and being fully committed to it, to finding and writing about something Happy every day, even when the last thing I wanted to do was to think a positive thought, gave me something. A purpose. And whether or not that purpose was fulfilling my own personal need to finding a happy or positive focus, it gave me what I needed, and hopefully you benefited as well.

We all face things in life that we feel are not fair. Not everyone gets to have a healthy body. Not everyone gets to live to be 45 years old. Not everyone gets to experience living in a foreign country, not everyone gets to be a mom or dad, not everyone gets to find their soulmate, not everyone gets to ride a bicycle, go for a jog, see a rainbow, hear music... You get my point. And all of those people out there with seemingly perfect lives, well, they too have something they must deal with. Something that is their cross to bear. No one gets to have the perfect life. Though it seems so when you are on the outside looking in.

But there IS something that we all have the opportunity to have and that is our own thoughts and our own free will to choose happiness. Sometimes finding happiness is a piece of cake (literally!) and sometimes you have to scrape the bottoms of your shoes, just for one little, teeny, tiny glimmer of happy... but it IS there. Waiting to be found.

So now I am about to embark upon yet another journey of Finding Happy. This time it may not be every single day but do I commit to posting about something positive or happy at least 3 days a week, possibly, hopefully more. I hope you will join me on this journey and actively seek happiness along side me. Because the only thing better than finding happiness yourself... is getting to share that happiness.

Happy New Year....

Be Happy!

Day 350: Positively Absolutely

It is unbelievable to me that today is day 350 of 365, plus one for leap year, making that a total of 366 days of Finding Happy. Instead of holding a drawing and giveaway to celebrate this day I decide to buy myself a couple of treats while I was out Christmas shopping today. So I kept to the tradition of "one for you, one for me," which worked out nicely. But on a serious note, I have to say that I impressed myself for having the discipline and determination to keep with my project, even in the face of vacations and extended visits from friends and family. Funny enough, on those days Finding Happy wasn't so difficult but finding time to sit down and write a thoughtful post about it was. And I have greatly appreciated all of the support and encouragement from all of you.

One thing that I would like to touch on lightly during the next couple of weeks, and which is sort of the  main reason behind my blog project, is the process I have gone through in dealing with the struggle of not being able to become pregnant. Living in a country where I am literally surrounded each day with pregnant women and new mothers is quite challenging when I have wanted more than anything in the world to have a child of my own. Praying about it and asking God why it hasn't happened for us helps to a point but even the strongest of us start to doubt and question why some people get to be parents and others of us do not.

I have been angry, immensely sad, at peace and then angry, immensely sad, and at peace again and again with our situation. My husband and I have had numerous conversations about it, and I have to add that he has been my biggest support and my biggest source of refuge and peace during our struggle of coming to terms with our infertility. In the beginning I prayed to become pregnant, but slowly I began to pray to feel at peace no matter what happened. And I truly do hope for peace. I realize that not every woman gets to have children and that there are many worse fates than not being able to have a child.

I try each day to focus on the blessings in my life and the small things that make me happy. I really don't know how or why I came up with the idea for this project except to say that perhaps it was not my idea at all but was God's answer to my prayers. As I sat at my computer last January 1st and contemplated writing a list of resolutions, the thought of a one year happy project merely popped into my head. I'd written blogs before to chronicle trips that we've taken and it was always so much fun for me. I thought maybe if I started a blog where I was committed to finding something happy or positive about my day, every day for a year, it would help me get out of my head. It would help me to focus on the things that are truly important and force me, so to speak, to dwell in a happier place each day.

Eventually I got into a groove with my project and blogging and now as I am approaching the end of the road, I am beginning to contemplate my next direction. I definitely plan to continue along the same type of path but I don't know that I am up for committing to another year of blogging daily. I would love any feedback that any of you would like to offer.

Today my happy was found in a very common place, in the warm embrace of my wonderful husband. Hugs are positively absolutely the very best and I am so lucky and blessed to have such a wonderful man as my soulmate and life partner.

Thank you all for listening to my stories and giving me your love and support!

Seeing these beautiful snow-covered Christmas trees today in the square near our apartment was a treat as well. And it may be difficult to make out but there is a father pulling his son on a sled down the path through the trees. Seeing a scene like this makes me smile from the inside out.

Day 348: To Work Hard Always

 "The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable that binds us irrevocably through thought and act." - Orrison Swett Marden

Over the course of this past year I have thought long and hard on the subject of making and breaking habits. In particularly, breaking the habit of thinking negatively and instead finding things to be happy about each day and focusing on positive thoughts instead of negative ones. I can say now, almost a year later and nearly at the completion of my goal, that training one's mind to think in a different way than how one has thought for more years than can be counted on both hands, takes time, devotion and discipline. It is not something that happens or changes over night. Even nearly an entire year later, I still find myself sometimes responding automatically in my mind in my old negative, think-the-worst ways. I have to catch myself in the moment and try to replace the thought or response with something positive.

Why do some of us think in that manner? My husband does not automatically think the worst or think negatively in situations. He gives the situations as well as the people the benefit of the doubt and always strives to see the positive and good in them. While for me, it sometimes requires work to Find Happy. Nowadays I can say with honesty that thinking and reacting more positively isn't the struggle it was a year ago but it still sometimes happens when I am not paying attention or on the darker days, and I don't necessarily mean days when there isn't sunlight. I suppose the why is not as important as the solution and I think the quote above, by Orrison Swett Marden, provides a pretty clear picture of the process of forming a new habit. It takes time to build up the [mental] strength, just like training our muscles to run a marathon.

I had no idea who Mr. Marden was when I first came across the quote so I looked him up. Apparently he experienced hardships in his life at a very young age, among which included the loss of both of his parents. And despite the hardship of being raised without them, the notion struck him to find and seek ways to be positive and happy and to construct a system to help himself, as we'll as others, reach their goals. I haven't read any of his books but I intend to explore them. Several are available for free download online. I'm always happy to become acquainted with a kindred spirit.

Finding ways to make life happier and more pleasant will continue to be my goals long after my blog project ends in a couple of weeks. We have so much potential to do good in the world and in our lives that it seems like a waste if we are not constantly striving for betterment. Reading Little Women has also impressed upon me the importance of not allowing ourselves to become idle but to work hard always. I hope at the end of my life that I can look back and reflect on the good things I have done and hopefully I will have made a difference in at least one other person's life.

The beauty of man and nature...